


To Be With You

by greyone01



Series: The Book of DameRey [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: DameRey, Damerey Endgame, F/M, Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, JediPilot, Mutual Pining, Requited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 12:52:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19357411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greyone01/pseuds/greyone01
Summary: Rey knew that Poe Dameron was from a world of happiness that she had never known. Perhaps she was but one of the many individuals he let in his life because his duty called for it. Without her, his world will keep on turning, his life will go on.Poe thought it was pathetic how much he wanted to be around Rey. He constantly finds himself gravitating to her, and she probably was just too polite to tell him off. Try as he might to not think of her, to not care too much for her, to not feel like he did for her – he knew he was fighting a losing battle with himself.





	To Be With You

**Author's Note:**

> Heard a snippet of the song "On My Own" from Les Miserables and I just saw in my mind Rey singing this while thinking of Poe. Of course I couldn't possibly let this end badly...

The hangar was abuzz with excited energy as one by one, Black Squadron touched down. It was hard to miss the familiar figure in front of the crowd that gathered to meet the pilots, standing still and seemingly unflappable as the gusts of air from the powering down starfighters tousled his dark hair. While still officially Black Leader, Commander Poe Dameron was now also the ranking officer on base in the absence of General Leia Organa. The tireless general had taken the Millenium Falcon, piloted by Chewbacca and Lando Calrissian, to attend to some pressing matters with one of the Resistance’s staunch supporters. Commander Dameron was in charge until she returns – and that meant staying grounded and foregoing missions with his squadron.

The crowd erupted in cheers as the pilots began disembarking. From where she stood at the back, Rey watched as Poe received his squadron, getting glimpses of his beaming smile as he turned to each pilot. She could clearly see joy in the way the pilots greeted him. Their reunion reflected a sense of belonging that she couldn’t help but be envious with, a kind of belonging that she had never known.

With a sigh, she turned and moved away from the crowd. Despite her time with the Resistance, there were moments like this when she still felt like an outsider. In her mind she knew that Leia, Poe and the rest of the Resistance considered her one of their own, but sometimes she still wonders if the feeling of belonging was something real, or if it only felt real because it was what she had desperately wanted.

She found herself heading to the building’s exit. Once outside, once alone, her shoulders dropped as a wave of loneliness engulfed her. She made her way to a secluded spot around the back of the building, one of her places of retreat. As she slid down to the ground, her mind wandered to a familiar thought that seemed to be haunting her more and more frequently each day.

Poe. She could see his face in her mind, the happiness in his eyes as he smiled at each of his returning pilots. She wondered, as she often did, if she’ll ever see the same joy in his eyes whenever he greets her with a smile. They were friends, she sensed his sincerity easily enough, but lately, she couldn’t help but notice how much more reserved he was around her. She tried not to dwell on it too much; after all, she only met the man a few months ago. Nevertheless, she had observed how he and Finn seemed to have easily settled into a good friendship – it was like they were brothers who knew each other since birth, and she knew Finn met Poe only a mere few hours before meeting her in Jakku.

The more she thought about it, the more unsure she felt. Maybe Poe was simply tolerating her presence, because he did confess he felt indebted to her for looking after his droid when he couldn’t. Was he just being polite because she and Chewbacca had gathered the Resistance after Crait? Maybe it wasn’t really friendship, what they had, but simply a civilized relationship that co-workers foster among themselves that allow them to work well together. Sometimes, she sensed that he seemed to genuinely care, but then her ever skeptic mind whispers that maybe was she sensing it only because she longed for it. It was hard to decipher him sometimes; it continually baffles her how it seemed harder for her to read him when he was looking at her. Especially if he was looking straight at her.

Rey pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. Despite all her confusion, there were moments, when it was just the two of them, when she felt that everything was right. That she can take on anything, for as long as he was there with her. That, without a doubt, she can always count on him to be there, in the same way that she will always be there for him. It was almost unreal how certain she felt that they had something special.

Still, uncertainty always threatens to overcome that certainty whenever she finds herself alone, or away from him. It was even worse when she watches him from a distance, because then she clearly sees how easily it seemed for him, when he’s on his own. Perhaps she WAS but one of the many individuals he let in his life because his duty called for it. Who was she kidding, how can someone like her be possibly an important presence in his life. Without her, his world will keep on turning, his life will go on. Seeing him interact with the people around him reminds her of the devastating fact that he’s from a world with happiness that she had never known.

She can’t tell for sure when she came to the realization that she did consider him an important part of her life. With everything she heard from BB-8 and Finn about Poe, and her adulation for Rebel starfighter pilots, she was admittedly awestruck when she first met him. It certainly didn’t help that he was perhaps the most gorgeous man she had ever met. All that was most likely why she managed to give him a smile in what was easily one of the worst days of her life.

She never felt for anyone else what she did for him. She seemed hyper-aware of him whenever he was in the same room, and when he was not, she found herself looking for him and wondering where he was. She liked how he spent some of his free time around her, even if she can’t think why he would. She liked him spending time with her, so when he does, she doesn’t even ask him why. It was enough for her that he was simply there.

Rey sighed in resignation. Maybe it only felt special to her, what they have together, because unlike him, she won’t have much in her world if he wasn’t there.

*****

After the cheers have gone down, the hangar settled once more to the quieter bustle of post-mission routines. Once the squadron’s debrief was wrapped up, the pilots one by one shuffled back to their starfighters, where droids and mechanics had already started the mandatory checks. The debrief was the last task Poe needed to do before concluding his shift, having turned over the controls of command to Lieutenant Kaydel Co Konnix when he left for the hangar. He made quick work of the report, adding it to the documents awaiting General Leia Organa’s perusal. With everyone back on base, save for the General and her entourage, he had several hours of downtime.

He should be heading to his quarters to get some much needed rest, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to wind down just yet. Not until he’s had a chance to have a chat with the one person he has been trying hard not to think about while he worked, someone his mind seemed to be determined to focus on whenever it had a chance to do so. He had seen her briefly at the hangar, she stayed at the periphery of the crowd as she always does, and she was gone when everything had settled down. Fortunately, his ever faithful astromech had stayed back, and he knew the little droid would know where she was. “Do you know where Rey is, buddy?”

BB-8 beeped affirmative and promptly began to lead him to where Rey went. He beeped another affirmative response to his master’s query of whether Rey would be pleased to see them. Poe couldn’t stop himself from grinning with his droid’s enthusiasm, or perhaps it was the prospect of being around Rey that brought on the grin. He dutifully followed his droid to the back of the building, allowing it to go a respectable distance ahead of him, knowing that the sight of BB-8 was enough a heads up for Rey.

It was pathetic, Poe thought, how much he wanted to be around her. She never seemed to be displeased to have him around, but then she probably was just too kind to tell him off. In all honesty, Poe was himself surprised with how he seemed to constantly gravitate to her. Try as he might to not think of her, to not care too much for her, to not feel like he did for her – he knew he was fighting a losing battle with himself. His mind was telling him he was setting himself up for another heartbreak, and he can easily come up with a long list of things as to why pursuing how he felt could end up badly for him. Still, he hung on that sliver of hope from the way her eyes light up whenever he joins her.

His smile turned into a frown when he saw his droid stop beside a huge crate. He was about to call out to BB-8 when he saw her arm extend from the far side of the crate, reaching out to tweak BB-8’s antenna. The crate had hidden her from plain view, and he realized that this was probably one of the places she goes to when she wanted solitude. Poe suddenly felt as if he was intruding, and his steps became tentative as he debated whether to go on or turn back.

“Poe!” Rey peeked from behind the crate, a small smile on her face. Poe found himself smiling back, his feet taking him to where she was. When he reached her, he found her sitting cross-legged on the ground, between two big crates. She made no move to get up.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude,” Poe apologized, his hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck. “I was just hoping to maybe have a quick catch up with you, but if you’re busy, it’s nothing really important.”

“Not really doing much out here, just thinking,” Rey replied, straightening her legs before her. “Do you want to talk here or go somewhere else?”

Poe saw that there was enough space for him to sit beside her. “You don’t mind me joining you?”

“Of course not,” Rey shook her head. Poe moved to settle on the space beside her, giving her a sheepish smile when he jostled her a bit as he sat down.

“Sorry,” he said, despite not feeling a bit apologetic for being so close to her. “Too close?”

“Nah,” Rey shook her head again, returning his smile. “What did you want to talk about?”

Poe shrugged, his shoulder brushing with hers. What did he want to talk to her about? Nothing really, he just wanted to be with her after not having been with her all day. He tried to think of a half-believable reason why he was there, but with her being that close, his brain had gone amazingly slow. He knew he won’t be able to come up with anything, so he decided to just ask her what he had been wondering about all day. “How’s your day been?”

“Not bad, I guess,” Rey remarked, averting her eyes from him. “How was yours?”

“It was all right,” he replied. “Had a smooth run in command, then Black Squadron checked back in, mission accomplished. I thought I saw you in the hangar earlier.”

“Yeah, I saw them come in,” Rey confirmed. She seemed to be thinking of what to say next, so he gave her a small smile. He waited for her to say more, and when she didn’t, they sat in silence for a few moments.

“I thought you’d still be hanging out with them,” Rey finally broke the silence. “Did you really come out here to talk to me?”

“Yeah,” Poe admitted. “They’re done with debrief, and I’m done for the day. Konnix will comm me if anything else comes up, but if there’s nothing, I’m free ‘til tomorrow.”

“Oh.” They fell into another lapse of silence.

Poe felt that Rey seemed to be finding his being there a bit confusing, that she was maybe wondering how to tell him so without being rude. He desperately wished his brain will start working again, it was working just fine when he signed off from duty a mere few minutes ago. He ended up blurting out a question that seemed harmless enough, but was obviously not, based on Rey’s reaction. “What are you doing out here?”

Rey shifted uneasily beside him. She looked straight ahead, the faintest of blushes on her cheeks. Her words seemed measured when she replied. “Back in the hangar…it was wonderful seeing how happy everyone was to have your pilots back, and how happy they were to be back. It was like you were all a family.”

“We are,” Poe replied, turning to look at her. She still wouldn’t meet his eyes. “That was how Leia wanted it. We fight for the same cause, and we have each other’s back.”

He decided to make an attempt to lighten up things. “That’s why I tend to call Finn ‘brother’ sometimes.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Rey remarked, her tone still sounding subdued. “And it’s nice. I just wonder sometimes if it was the same with me.”

A light-bulb seemed to have gone on in Poe’s head. She must have been she feeling left out, was that why she was out here? He bit his lower lip thoughtfully. He felt like a big stupid oaf right then, chiding himself for not seeing it right away. Of course, this was Rey, who never knew how it was to be in a family or even a group. Unlike Finn or anyone else he knew. Everyone in the Resistance had accepted her as one of their own, but does she know that? If not, was that because they haven’t made her feel that?

He looked at her earnestly now. “You do know you are part of this ‘we’ that I’m talking about, right?”

Slowly, Rey raised her eyes to meet his. He saw a myriad of emotions in hers: relief, doubt, disbelief, hope. Without thinking, he reached out and grasped her hand. “Were you feeling left out? I’m so sorry. I should’ve done a better job making sure you weren’t.”

Rey squeezed his hand. “Nothing to apologize for, no one’s done anything to make me feel excluded, especially not you. I just have a hard time believing sometimes that I’m actually a part of the group.”

“You are,” Poe reassured her, not letting go of her hand. “If anyone says otherwise, I’ll make it my personal mission to deal with them accordingly.”

“Thank you,” Rey said, the corners of her mouth turning up to the beginnings of a smile. “But really, you don’t have to do that.”

“I do, what kind of a leader would I be if I let something like that happen? And what kind of a friend am I if I ignore something like that?”

Rey leaned to him ever so slightly. “You really mean that? That you’re my friend?”

“Yes,” Poe affirmed, moving back a little to look her in the eye. _And I want to be more_ , he found himself desperately wanting to add. “Yes, Rey.”

They settled once more in silence, although this time, it was certainly much less uncomfortable. Poe realized he was still holding Rey’s hand, and he tugged her closer to his side. When she responded without resistance, he found himself liking it very much and feeling more confident. Would it be too much to tell her now exactly how he felt about her? That he doesn’t want to be just a friend to her?

Before he could say anything, Rey spoke softly. “But don’t you dare start calling me sister or something like that.”

He couldn’t stop the chuckle. She joined his laughter, then straightening up, it was her this time who looked him in the eye. “I mean it, Poe. Don’t call me that stuff. And I don’t want you going all protective big brother like Finn does with me.”

“Okay, okay, I won’t,” Poe replied, raising his free hand in a gesture of surrender. Her eyes continued to lock with his, and suddenly, he felt that he needed to let her know. “I’d never do that, even if that was okay with you. I don’t think I can ever be a brother to you.”

“Why not?” Her voice was barely a whisper, as if she was afraid to ask.

“Because I don’t and I won’t ever think of you as if you were my sister,” he said in all seriousness. He took a deep breath. “What I feel about you is more than what a friend can ever feel. Much, much more. And it’s not exactly how brothers feel about their sisters.”

He began rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. “I care about you a lot, Rey. I can’t stop thinking about you, I always want to be around you. And when I’m with you, I want to be close to you all the time.”

“Like this close?”

“Yes,” Poe nodded, letting his guard down. “And closer. And I want to hold you and never let you go.”

“You feel it, too?”

Poe’s eyes widened ever so slightly with that. His heart began beating faster, was she really saying she felt the same way for him? Before he loses his ability to speak coherently, he let it all out. “Yes, it’s like I never want to be away from you. You’re all I ever think about. When you're not around, world around me changes and it's not a world I want to be in. I was fighting that, trying to get over what I feel about you, because I thought I was on my own feeling like that about you.”

“I know,” she whispered. “I thought I was on my own, too.”

With that, Poe couldn’t stop his other hand from reaching up to cup her cheek. His thumb gently caressed the side of her face as his eyes locked with hers. He found himself leaning closer, until he could no longer hold her gaze. “Can I kiss you, Rey?”

He felt Rey’s breathy “Yes,” before he closed the distance between them. He kissed her long and tenderly, keeping the kiss chaste even as he felt her arm go around his neck. Time seemed to stop, and all he could think of was how right it felt to touch her like that. They were both breathless when he pulled away, kissing her on the forehead before letting go of her hand to wrap both of his arms around her. She leaned onto him, allowing herself to be embraced by him.

Poe placed another kiss on the top of Rey’s head. He murmured as she snuggled to him, “That right there is not brotherly love. Gods, I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”

“I never thought you’d be interested in me like that,” Rey confessed. “I thought you weren’t even interested in me as a friend.”

Poe tightened his embrace, wanting to reassure her that what she said couldn’t be further from the truth. “Whatever made you think that?”

“I, um, I just notice things, I guess,” Rey said, her hand coming to rest on his arm. “Around Finn, your squadron, well, pretty much everyone else, you seem to be more at ease. I kinda thought you were just being polite around me, that you were just tolerating me. I thought you didn’t really give a damn about me, because what are the chances that someone like you, a hotshot pilot like you, would want to be around someone like me.”

“Seriously, Rey?” Poe huffed. “It’s the exact opposite. It sounds cheesy, because it is, but the first time I met you on the Falcon? You got me good, and by the time I figured out what was happening, I was already way too deep. I had no idea how you felt, so I tried to hide it, tried to act normal around you, because I don’t want you think that I’m a creepy older guy wanting to make a pass to a pretty young woman.”

Rey lifted her head to look at him. He met her eyes, and she seemed to be searching his for something. Whatever it was, she must’ve seen it, because she then laid her hand on his jaw very tenderly. She leaned in and settled her lips on his, and Poe was only too happy to share another kiss with her. When they finally broke apart, he found her gaze locking onto his once again. "What are you thinking about right now?"

“What you just said," she replied. "And that you're not creepy.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Poe said with a small laugh. He grasped her wrist and turned his head to kiss her palm. “Let me make it clear though, this…I’m not making a pass on you. I’m not doing this only to get to sleep with you. I’m in this because I’ve never felt anything like this for anyone. I want to be with you, for as long as you’ll have me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Never been more sure than anything in my life,” Poe assured her.

“You better be,” Rey said, her voice barely above a whisper. She leaned closer, and Poe was only too willing to meet her halfway. She stopped just before he could kiss her. “You better be sure, Poe, because if you leave it up to me, I’d have you forever.”

“Deal,” Poe agreed, sealing the deal with a kiss. “I’m yours forever, then. I promise, I’m with you all the way. We’re in this together.”

Rey simply threw her arms around him and let him hold her.

**Author's Note:**

> Yep, in my world, Damerey will always have a happy ending.


End file.
